Speed Dating

One of my friends was trying to persuade me to go to speed dating with him this Sunday. I politely declined (I don't know him well enough to be my usually contemptful self) yet in honour of his invitation, I thought I would spend the three minutes that I would have been forced to pass with someone-who-needs-to attend-a speed-dating mixer-to-talk-to-people on thinking up potentially the worst comments you could open up your micro-relationship with.

1. While looking around...'Jeez, I can't believe i showered and everything for this'
2. 'What do I do? You know the BNP? Yeah, thats me.'
3. As soon as you sit down, very loudly shout 'No!' and get up.
4. As soon as you sit down, very loudly shout 'No!' and get up, walk to the bar, down a couple of shots and return to your seat.
5. 'God I hope your not a lesbian like the last one.'
6. Nothing. Just say absolutely nothing until they freak out. Should be about a minute and a half.
7. 'So listen, if you want to do this we should really get going coz my wife/mother is gonna be home in like a half hour.'
8. 'Wow, did you know your eyes are the same colour as my scooter?'
9. Any Joke from sickipedia (http://www.sickipedia.org/).
10. Just whisper 'sex' after every sentence.
11. Anything you honestly think. Eg. 'You look better from where I was sitting before,' I'm pretty much just killing time with you until I get to talk to the hot girl behind you' or 'I hope none of my girlfriend's friends are here or I am busted.'

What? My time is up? I was starting to enjoy that...