NFL Week 4: Picks

Lions @ Bears - I guess we now have to hold the Lions to the same standards as the rest of the league now that we know that they can win a game. They won one, they don't win this one, they will win another one.

Bengals @ Browns - Things worse than being a Browns fan: Godfather Part III, Hangovers that make you literally try and pull the alcohol out of your brain, reality TV, family holidays after the age of 13, text messages that use the number '8' as anything other than a number and the Jonas Brothers. That's it.

Raiders @ Texans - Things worse than being a Raiders fan: any sort of cheap, tasteless meat, people who claim to be from Persia (you might as well say Mordor), the end of the third Lord of the Rings film, overpriced nightclub beer, seeing your ex when you haven't made it home and look like sh*t and...being a Browns fan. That's it.

Seahawks @ Colts - I suppose Jim Mora will blame his punter, DB coach or dog walker for losing this one. Who do I blame? Why, thanks for asking. I blame Brett Favre...or Michael Crabtree...or...Al Davis? Come on. One of them surely.

Titans @ Jags - The Titans are the best 0-3 team in the league. The Jags are 1-2. So Jacksonville's better. Well, we'll know after Sunday won't we.

Giants @ Chiefs - Do you remember when Arrowhead was one of the hardest places to travel to in the NFL?

Ravens @ Patriots - Two good teams. Two good coaches. Two good QB's. Two reasons why the Pats will win; a. they're at home. b. I told you so. That's literally all I've got. Honestly.

Bucs @ Redskins - A playoff of the two most bizarre coaching hires since Mike Bassett became England's fictional manager. Low on points and quality and excitement and interest and...

Bills @ Dolphins - I won't rip T.O for his outfit; if you're actions don't do the talking and you're mouth won't then that's all the expression you've really got.

Jets @ Saints -Ok, so Mark 'The Sanchise' Sanchez has a better nickname than I could come up with for Drew 'The Master-Keys' Brees but that doesn't mean he'll be quite as cosy this week as he has been as of late. You're going down Sanchez...

Cowboys @ Broncos - So, if Denver is 3-0 behind Kyle Orton then they'd be at least 14-0 with Jay Cutler right?

Rams @ 49ers - Just. Don't. Really. Care.

Chargers @ Steelers - San Diego are 0-13 in Pittsburgh, have been slowly starters under Norv in both year's he has coached the team, have a less than 100% LT, couldn't run on the Steelers with Darren Sproles in the playoffs last year, have lost Jamal Williams for the year and have seen little from (former?) stars Merriman and Cromartie. Yet everybody is backing them. Mistake.

Packers @ Vikings - How exactly do you pronounce that guys name? Favor? Favrey? Faaaaaaaave? Doesn't really matter, can't imagine he'll get much face time.

Season so far; 36-12