Manchester United have announced that the majority of the transfer fee received for Cristiano Ronaldo will be spent on a new linebacker.
Questions over a conflict of interest have been refuted by United and Tampa Bay Buccaneers owners, the Glazer family. The statement released pronounced 'These are trying times for the economy and we feel this is the best way to spend the money. Our new signing can split time between the two teams.'
'We can't believe nobody has done this sooner. Clearly this is the best thing for business and we are convinced that, when we present our plans at our AGM, all United fans will be behind us.'
Reports that Gary Neville was stateside trying out as a running back are unconfirmed.
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