Fitz Hall of Fame

For all the dieticians, sponsorship deals, camera angles, energy drinks and every other advancement in sport over the last fifty odd years, it seems that one area of just about major sport has suffered - Nicknames.

Gone are the days 'The Black Panther' (Eusebio), Ervin 'Magic' Johnson and Lawrence 'Yogi' Berra but here we celebrate the finest monikers from sports history.

The East Wing AKA The ‘But I thought that was his real name’ Wing

'Yogi' Berra - A Hall of Fame Baseball player and creator of such remarks as ‘It’s like déjà vu all over again’ and ‘Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.’

'Satchel' Paige - Good name. Dull story. Trust me

Mirko 'Cro Cop' - He’s Croatian and a former cop. I guess ‘Cro Cop’ sounds plausible although I don’t the Filipovic (his real surname) family are thrilled by their neglect

'Tiger' Woods - Does Eldrick Tont Woods become the Icon and marketing dream that ‘Tiger’ has?

‘Butterbean’ - So good Eric Esch changed his name. One of his sons is nicknamed ‘Babybean.’

‘Magic’ Johnson - He revolutionised the game of Basketball and is fully entitled to as cool a nickname as there is in sports. By the way…First name Earvin.

'Babe' Ruth - AKA ‘The Bambino’ AKA ‘The Sultan on Swat.’ AKA George Herman Ruth Jr. The ‘Babe’ nickname was nowhere near original but he made it his own.

The North Wing AKA The ‘There is no way I’m getting a fight with this guy’ Wing

'The Axe Murderer' Wanderlei Silva - No. Nope. Never. Even if I was drunk. Even if he was drunk.

'Mean' Joe Greene - Apparently a real nice fella. The former NFL Lineman was the leader of perhaps the best nicknamed unit is sport’s history - ‘The Iron Curtain.’

Nick ‘The Fighting Bartender’ Delong - I’ve met them, I’ve been them. You don’t want to fight them.

'The Nigerian Nightmare' Christian Okoye - Truly terrifying. And somebody had to tackle him. His nickname? Scared.

David ‘Tank’ Abbott - Short, sharp and powerful. Much like his right hand.

Kasushi ‘Gracie Hunter’ Sakuraba - Any fighter who can brag about owning the most famous family in MMA has earnt their spot.

‘The Living Death’ Lew Jenkins - His other nickname was ‘The Sweet Swatter from Sweetwater’ which was slightly less fearsome but no less artistic.

The South Wing AKA The ‘Plain Hilarious - Can I buy the gent who created it a drink’ Wing

'One Size' Fitz Hall (founding member) - In the 'Random Tasks' echelon of brilliance. And to think, a footballer came up with it.

'The Human Victory Cigar' Darko Milicic - Brilliant. Drafted 2nd overall in 2003, the NBA bust is considered so bad that he only plays when his team are up so big they can’t lose.

‘The Microwave’ Vinnie Johnson - The former Detroit Pistons player could come off the bench and heat up in seconds.

Elroy 'Crazy Legs' Hersch - . His nickname was affixed to him by a journalist who wrote ‘His crazy legs were gyrating in six different directions, all at the same time; he looked like a demented duck.’

‘He Hate Me’ Rod Smart - About the only everlasting piece of XFL history. Poor Rod never liked being anything but first choice.

'The Cat' Phil Tufnell - Terrible fielder but liked a nap.

Apollo ‘The Count of Monte Fisto’ Creed - Tough to beat a collection of nicknames including ‘The Master of Disaster,’ ‘The King of Sting’ and ‘The Dancing Destroyer’ but this does it.

‘Dr. Dunkenstein’ Darrel Griffith - At the top of the myriad of superb dunk related names. I’m kinda partial to ‘Lord of the Dunks,’ ‘Man O'Dunk’ and ‘Sir Dunkalot’ but I have to bow to the Dr.

Martin 'Chariots' Offiah - Classic.

‘Jesus Shuttlesworth’ Ray Allen - ‘He Got Game’ isn’t such a great movie but Ray-Ray’s character gets a great title.

‘The Human Rain Delay’ Mike Hargrove - Between every pitch, had such a long and elaborate routine that pitchers became irate with his deliberation.

Dennis 'The Non-flying Dutchman' Bergkamp - Almost unbelievable that such a talent hardly made it to away games in European competition.

'King of Spain' Ashley Giles - Some coffee mugs were intended to spell out ‘The King of Spin’ in honour of the England and Warwickshire spinner. They didn’t and fans were all the more happy with the result.

‘The Owl Without a Vowel’ Bill Mlkvy - Nuff said.

'Biscuit Pants' Lou Gehrig - The slugger had many a name in the majors; this one was probably the most bizarre….something to do with his portly posterior?

Pernell ‘Sweat Pea’ Whittaker - A brilliant boxer and sweet operator in the ring. If you didn’t know who he was though, you’d figure to have a chance.

'Mr. May'/'A-Roid' Alex Rodriguez - Any nickname has to be better than A-Rod and his recent postseason struggles and steroid admission have given his detractors some real ammunition.

The West Wing AKA The ‘Goldilocks...Just Right’ Wing

'Air Jordan’/‘His Airness' Michael Jordan - EVERYBODY knows it.

'The Big Unit' Randy Johnson - Defiantly a career as an adult star if he never became one of the most dominant pitchers ever. Brokers an interesting question; To be in the Baseball Hall of Fame for life or to be in a bunch of dumb blondes for life?

'The Rawalpindi Express' Shoaib Akhtar - He's from Rawalpindi. He's quick. Get it?

‘The Greatest’ Muhammed Ali - The Greatest. The only black man I’ve ever seen cheered at a hockey game.

'The Mailman' Karl Malone - Always delivers. Except never won an NBA title. So mostly delivers.

'The Bus' Jerome Bettis - You gotta ride the bus…

'The Mad Stork' Ted Hendricks - Tall? Yes. Lanky? Yes. Once rode into practice on a white horse wearing a German military helmet? Yes. A true Oakland Raider.

Dave ‘The Ghost’ Casper - Another Raider. They don’t miss a trick.

'Primetime' Deion Sanders - The man for the big occasion.

'Anytime' Devin Hester - Given to him by Sanders; the man for any occasion.

'The Fridge' William Perry - Big as one, regularly attended one.

'The Splendid Splinter' Ted Williams - Sounds like a superhero. In baseball terms he pretty much was.

‘The Italian Stallion’ Rocky Balboa - Adrian…

‘Mr. October’ Reggie Jackson - Played his best when it mattered most. No bigger compliment for a sportsman. Poor A-Rod…

Dick 'Night Train' Lane - From the record of the same name. Apparently he didn’t like it…why?

‘Vinsanity’/’Half Man Half Amazing’ Vince Carter - A spectacular player deserves such a label.

'Dr. J' Julius Erving - He didn’t spend three years in slam dunk school to be called Mister thank you.

'The Giambino' Jason Giambi - The reincarnation of the Babe. Except nowhere near as good. Just a small oversight in this setting.

The Shaq Wing AKA The’Whatever he chooses to call himself this week’ Wing

'Shaq Diesel'/'Shaqtus'/'Shaq-Fu'/'Dr. Shaq'/'Osama Bin Shaq'/'Wilt Chamberneazy'/’The Big Aristotle’/’The Big Stock Exchange’/’The Big IPO’/’The Big Havlicek’/’The Big Felon’/’Shaqcasso’/’The Big Knick-Knack’/’The Big Cactus’/’The Big Baryshnikov’/’Shaqovic’ Shaquille O'Neal - I’ve hardly got started…